Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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