I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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