Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
