hotel room ftw
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize