Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
