I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
