But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
