He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
