He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
