don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
