I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize