my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize