Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Bring me that man meat
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
