TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Randomize
