if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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