last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
As shirtless as possible
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
