Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
