so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
