if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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