allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
