New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
