honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
