so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
