I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
