so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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