Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize