Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
