NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
