i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
