So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize