Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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