Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
