do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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