grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize