Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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