Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
