You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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