just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
