I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
