Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
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I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
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New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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