did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
