their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
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I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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