im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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