Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
