not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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