Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
