hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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