he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
