In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
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I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
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Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
there is glitter all over my balls
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