So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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