Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
