Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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