I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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