i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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