i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
