Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dicks are not precious.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
