College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
