i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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