i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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