This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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