On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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