I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
