Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
