First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize